Category: Happy and Healthy Height

Sheep Staring at Camera

There are some experiences that are common to all tall people, and one of them is that we all get extra attention — good or bad — from time to time.

You might be one of those lucky souls who has always just enjoyed it.  On the other end of the spectrum, some tall girls have never been able to deal with people paying them special attention.  They cringe, stoop, and try to disappear.  I think that most of use fit somewhere in between: we’d like to be better at standing out with grace.

All over the internet, in every tall forum and every web site, I find lists of comebacks and responses.  Sure, swap “Grow up and find out!” for “How’s the air up there”  if you like.  I think comebacks like that are funny, but unfortunately they’re not my style — and I’m also really bad at remembering them!

Am I wrong in thinking we need to think about more mature ways of coping?  Here are my Sunday night ideas.  I’d love to hear your Monday morning improvements!

  • If someone finds you interesting, rudeness is not the correct response. Even if you’ve heard “Do you play basketball?” a thousand times, it doesn’t hurt to talk about it. People pay us extra attention because we are different, and interesting.  Believe it or not, they really don’t know that everyone asks the same old questions.
  • Sometimes people make dumb statements because they can’t, in the first moments of meeting you, think of anything else to say.  As the ‘different’ one, it’s your job to defuse the tension.  No, it’s not fair.  Life isn’t.  Think about a time when you, say, met a celebrity.  Even though you know it’s dumb you might say “Hey, you’re Paul Hogan!  That’s not a knife!”  Then you’d kick yourself and wish the floor would swallow you.  But if that person is cool and calm about it, within a few minutes you’re just two people getting to know one another.
  • If someone talks about modeling, the best thing to do is usually to say “thanks, no, but you just made my day.”  Then find a new topic of conversation: most people love to talk about themselves.
  • However, you do not have to put up with threatening attention.  Don’t waste time coming up with one-liners: if someone is outright threatening you or deliberately making you feel ill at ease, tell someone.  Do not wait.  Do not pass Go, do not collect a major pain in the ass.

Thoughts, anyone?

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Teenage girl enjoying a swimming pool

Here’s a random thought about how we learn confidence.

Summer is upon us.  Yes, sorry all you Northern Hemisphere folks, I know you’re facing winter now.  But I’m not particularly sorry for you: you’ve been blogging about your summer holidays and your peaches for months now, and it’s been driving me MENTAL.  I am an Aussie girl at heart and I resent the cold.

Ahem,  so anyway.  As soon as the mornings are light and warm, I’m off to the pool with my goggles and swimp3 to soak up the Vitamin D.  It’s one of my favourite things in the world.  I love the way the sun plays in the water.  I even love the smell of chlorine that seems to hang around on my skin, hours later at the office.

How is this relevant to a tall blog?  Well, I’m one of those ‘serious’ lap swimmers, and my attire in the sporty fast lane is unorthodox.  Specifically, it’s been twenty years since I wore a one-piece — I’m a bikini girl, though I’m naturally on the modest side.  Why?  Tall options in swimwear are limited.  You can either wear a black plus size one piece doozy with huge bra cups, or brave the belly button in an itsy, bitsy, far too teeny weeny for comfort bikini.  I used to feel very self conscious about it.  But it’s been years now that I’ve had to bare the tummy button, whether I was feeling fit or not.  Want to swim?  Gonna have to be brave!  So here’s the interesting part: with the passing years, it’s gone from scary to nothing special.

I’ve grown so much more confident with the passing years, that it surprises me when women say they “can’t” wear a two piece.  I wonder why they are so worried — I know nobody is looking at them, just like they’re not looking at me.  Most of the time, everyone is too busy doing their own thing. Occasionally I get a look from some lady that says “huh, doesn’t she think she’s hot”, and the world doesn’t end.

That’s been a great lesson for life, in general.  Being noticed — well, it’s not going to kill you, when it does happen, and that’s less often than you might think.  So you might as well enjoy yourself, whether that means being dressed “wrong” (whatever that means) or doing something else that’s entirely unique to you.

To return to the point, then: you become confident when you are forced so far out of your comfort zone, that you forget where it was in the first place.  Risks and scary situations propel you forwards.  Being a tall woman seems to come with a whole set of these situations!  So remember my bikini next time you’re worried “what people will think” of your heels.

Are there other aspects of life in which you’ve been forced to grow in confidence because of your height?  Did it turn out well or not?  I’d love to hear your stories.

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Kite flying in blue sky

I’m safe home in Melbourne now.  I want to go back to Sydney.

Tropical flower

It’s so warm and sunny this time of year — not too hot,

Jasmine flowers in sunbeam

But just warm enough that you can feel the sun dance on your face.

As can the jasmine.

Of course, Sydney has a lot of other attractions.  For me, a tall girls’ meet up in a hilariously inappropriate venue with tiny stairways.

Mind Your Head sign

We met some of the pygmy natives.

Tall girl posing with very short guy

They were really interested in us!  This group photo was taken by a lady who stood on her table to get a high shot.  Life must be so difficult for the short ;)

Group of tall girls looking normal sized in relation to one another

Even in my best heels, I was soundly out-talled by the lovely 6’4″ Emma (who ALSO wore heels!)

Three tall girls smiling

I’ve never been to a tall girls event and I can really recommend them, if they’re the right sort.

The wrong sort are full of bitching and moaning.  The right sort are full of conversations about shoes and how tall our kids are, or will be, and stories, and life, and dessert, and the universe, and everything.

The right sort is held in a public place where normal size people will double take and wonder if we’re “some sort of tall club”.  And then not believe us.  And then want their photographs taken with us.

And bring their friends to meet us.

And conversations are at eye level, and nobody slouches.

Tall girls are wonderful.

(Thanks to Nat Kotela for organising the event and welcoming a cold-skinned Melbourne girl to Sydney!)

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When I was in high school, they ran these horrible (and long since outlawed) peer-comparison fitness tests.  Basically, they put all us students together and made us run, jump, flex, climb rope… and weigh ourselves.  Then they measured us against each other by age and ranked our ‘fitness’.   I came second last.

Oh, my: did I cry.  And were my parents ever angry.  Tall folks themselves, they understood how cruel this kind of treatment can be.  For a start, there was no way my spaghetti arms were ever going to hoist my body weight up a rope or into a pull-up: no way, no how.  As to flexibility and dexterity: don’t get me started.  My body was growing at something like three inches per year at that point and I had next to no control over its muscles.  Matter of fact, I think those muscles were having a hard time just staying attached to the bone!   The idea of being able to reach over my feet or dash around witches’ hats?  Would have been laughable, if it didn’t hurt so bad.

And to make it all so, so much worse, the body measurements.  My weight and my hip and waist measurements were read out along with everybody else’s.  Dear god, I am cringing just thinking about it all these years later.  All those cute (how I hated that word) girls my age were 50, 55, 60 kilos at most.  One, I remember, was 45 kilos.

I weighed 70 kilograms and my hip measurement was about 30cm bigger than the ‘normal girls’ at around 100cm… and still growing.

It was a nightmare.

Now, several years past teenagerhood (ahem), I weigh a bit more.  I am still bigger than average at the same kind of ratio.  I’m pretty fit, weigh around 75 kilos and have a size 16-ish, 110cm hip.  People get a shock when they find out I buy anything from a 14 to an 18 depending on the manufacturer.  But you know what?

I’m over it.

So here’s my quick facts on “fat”.  I am talking here especially to younger tall girls who are dealing with a puberty double whammy: normal ‘growing pains’ made even worse by the fact that your body so different to everyone else’s.

1)  You’re Perfectly Proportioned. Ever wondered at the stupidity of clothing brands that put more length in the size 18 than in the 10?  While it seems crazy to you and I, we have to remember that on average, it’s quite reasonable to assume that a shorter person is less wide than a taller person.  Think about your foot length.  Do you worry that your feet are fat?  Probably not.  And yet they’re likely bigger than most people’s feet.  They’re perfectly proportioned to you.

2)  Your Skeleton is Heavy. You’ve heard that muscle weighs more than fat?  One liter of muscle weighs around 1.06 kg and one litre of fat weighs around 0.9 kg. In other words, muscle is about 18% denser than fat.  Bones are even heavier.  As a tall person there is more of you, keeping you alive.  Your skull, your hips, even your feet bones are all heavier even though for your body, they are in proportion.

Even more important: your body weight (not your fat but your total weight, so height is a factor) determines bone density.  The more your bones have to do, the bigger and denser and stronger they will grow.  Thus, the taller you are, the bigger and better your bones.  Bone growth is fantastic and never t0 be avoided. So keep in mind that some of your so called “extra” weight is the good stuff that will prevent osteoporosis.  Don’t you even think about trying to limit your bone growth!

3)  Sorry if I’m Out of Line, But You’re Probably Not Dressing Thin. If you don’t have a lot of options in the way that you dress, for instance wearing ill-fitting or mens’ clothes, you and others will get an optical illusion that you take up a lot of space.  Shop at specialist stores when you can.  Try to avoid big, billowy tees and tops and cinch clothes in wherever you’re happiest doing so.  For me, it’s my waist.  It’s a visual ‘stop’ in my body line.  I would never dream of wearing a long Empire line gown, because on me it would look more like a muu-muu.

In my teen years, the moment I stepped out of XL men’s tees and too-short jeans, and into a slim fitting dress, I shocked my peers.  They couldn’t believe I had those great curves.

4)  You’re Probably Slouching. Stop.  Stand up straight.  I am such a broken record on this topic but it’s SO important.  Slouching makes you look fat — don’t do it.  Just don’t.

5)  Fat is in the Mind of the Beholder. This is not a pleasant one, nor do I have an easy fix.  Some people — especially dumb little teenage boys whose only opinions on female bodies come from their peers and online p$#n, see a tall shape and their brains can only interpret the impression of size.  The only way I know to deal with this one is to wait until the boys grow up into men.

Can you think of any more ways in which height gets misrepresented as overweight?  Do you have a story that could help somebody else?  I’d love to collect ideas or stories in the comment box for others to read.

While I’m here, some of you might be interested in this link from Kathleen Fasanella, a fashion industry guru.  In this post she talks about why designers don’t add lines for the (more lucrative than tall) plus size market, and much of what she has to say really applies even more so to tall folks.   It really says to me that we need lots of small businesses catering only for talls, so that we can get a range of styles and good fit.  It’s no use complaining about the fact that Levis and The Gap don’t cater to us: we have to start our own thing.

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